I play the lottery every week. But the money isn't what drives me. One day I want to be able to walk into work and tell all my bitch ass coworkers to eat my ball sac.

my friend told me the other day that if i jerked off more I would be friendlier. I jerk off like 7 times/ day. I'm just an asshollleee...

I truly believe that in America Asian Women should not be able to get a drivers license. You say I'm racist, I say I just saved lives.

One of my best friends has a super hot girlfriend. Couple weeks ago, she and I started kinda flirting while at a party. Since then, we have been trading dirty pics and sexting. I know its wrong but this chick is just so damn hot.

i've had sex with a lot of older women. the older the better. once they hit like 50, they don't give a shit what you do to them

I've been dating this girl for a while and she just told me she was into bondage. I'll try anything once so I let her tie me up. She then proceeded to kick the living shit out of me. I kept yelling "Oprah Winfrey, Oprah Winfrey!" (our safe word), but I think she got mad that I wasn't into it. She broke up with me later over burritos at Taco bell.

Its funny how people dont use this site to tell their secrets, most sound like they just want attention.

I have to go to this asian hair removal place to get my ass hair waxed. My wife hates ass hair, so the bitch makes an appointment for me like every 2 weeks. It hurts like hell.

I have the biggest douche of a boss that you can imagine. He is always throwing high fives and jumping around. Today he decided that it would be a good idea to slap my ass and tell me "good game." I emailed him a long email that pretty much said if he ever touches me again I'm gonna fuck him with the long dick of the law

i am a girl and i want to masturbate and i dont know how! :(