I just got my CC bill, and my girlfriend spent over 100 dollars last month on internet porn....on my Credit card. Oddly, I'm not sure whether to be mad or horny
The other night I left the Biggest Loser on while I had sex with the girlfriend on the couch on purpose. I last like 30 minutes with all the fatties jumping around!
Last night, my wife was going down on me and I started to talk dirty. I said "do you like it in your mouth?" Instead of saying anything she gave me a thumbs up! A thumbs up! We started laughing uncontrollably.
Every time I have sex with a guy I ask them to put a condom on because I have herpes and dont want to tell them. Half the time they refuse, but I don't put up a fight because it serves them right for going unprotected intentionally.
I was in New Orleans immediately after Hurricane Katrina. While there, one of my functions was to unload dead bodies from refrigerated trailers. Among the bodies was a girl in her late teens or early 20s. I had sex with her corpse, just to see what it was like.
